teal-deer:

I’m doing a reading at Emerson College’s Graduate Reading Series, and i need to introduce myself. I could writ something on my own, but I’m lazy. Possibly I will just take your suggestions and smash them together into one horrifying chimerical unit. 

 I remember everything
I remember every little thing as if it only happened yesterday
I was barely seventeen, and I once killed a boy with a Fender guitar
I don’t remember if it was Telecaster or Stratocaster
But I do remember that it had a heart of chrome, and a voice like a horny angel
I don’t remember if it was Telecaster or Stratocaster
But I do remember that it wasn’t at all easy

It required the perfect combination of the right power chords
And the precise angle from which to strike!

The guitar bled fo about a week afterwards
And the blood was zoot, dark and rich, like wild berrys
The blood of the guitar was Chuck Berry red
The guitar bled for about a week afterwards
But it rung out beautifully
And I was able to play notes that I had never even heard before

So I took my guitar
And I smashed it against the wall
I smashed it agains the floor
I smashed it againt the body of a varsity cheerleader
Smashed it against the hood of a car
Smashed it against a 1981 Harley Davidson
The Harley howled in pain
The guitar howled in heat

And I ran upstairs to my parents bedroom
Mummy and Daddy were sleeping quietly in the moonlight
Slowly I opened the door
Creeping into the shadows right up to the foot of their bed
I raised the guitar high above my head
And just as I was about to bring the guitar crashing down upon the centre of the bed
My father woke up, screaming “STOP!
Wait a minute! Stop it, boy! What do you think your doing?
Thats no way to treat an expensive musical instrument!”
And I said, “God damn it, Daddy!
“You know I love you…
But you’ve got a hell of a lot to learn about rock and roll!”